Heart News

October 2007

The Cost of Exclusion

Do you ever feel out of place at times during your everyday life?

Have you experienced moments where you feel like you just don't fit in? Have you been aware of periods of time where you believe you are always on the outside looking in on your family, relationship, or your co-workers? The feeling of exclusion is a powerful, underlying emotion that grips much of today's society.

Whenever we feel as if we are on the outside, looking in on a select group, an almost primal instinct can seemingly take hold of us, driving us to a point where we will do almost anything to find our way back into inclusion.

Whenever a person or persons demonstrates the willingness to exclude somebody from a particular group, the driving force many times is fear and insecurity. If each of us were to closely examine our own individual thoughts and actions aimed at those closest to us, at our community, our nation, and our world, we may be surprised at how many times we have consciously or unconsciously excluded individuals, groups or entire sects, through our words, actions or beliefs.

We often exclude people by judging, criticizing, degrading or shaming them. The cause behind these actions is often the need to feel better about ourselves. If we can manage to experience a false sensation of superiority, we then temporarily feel a jump in our self-esteem. We then have the momentary awareness of an unfounded and empty worthiness, which we will falsely attempt to gratify through unhealthy actions or behaviours.

The thirteenth century Persian Muslim poet, Rumi writes,

"Pilgrimage to the place of the wise is
to find escape from the flame of separateness."

The flame of separateness burns deeply within, whether it is the feeling of exclusion, or the need to exclude, both are driven by our fears and insecurities. Most acts and feelings of separation and exclusion are indicators of our lost connection to our inner Beloved.

What my workshop, "Free the Heart" is about, is simply and powerfully reconnecting us to our inner-Beloved. When we release and remove the wants and needs of exclusion and separation, then our Pilgrimage or journey to our wholeness within becomes far more than an idea and concept.

When we speak, act, and express from our inner-wholeness, our entire life reflects this powerful truth.

Rumi writes,

"Love's nationality is separate from all other religions,
the lover's religion and nationality is the Beloved."

Affirmation:
"My inward journey is continuously filled with feelings and thoughts of inclusion, wholeness and acceptance."

Blessings,
David Allen Jones

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